Why the Future is Ours to Mould

There is a lot to be said for being a woman

For many of the women in my generation and those preceding it, we were taught to behave like ladies, not to be too loud, and not to inconvenience anyone at the expense of our own well-being. Thankfully, a lot of those constraints are being obliterated.

Continuing in the steps of the women who came before us, we’re better able to vocalise our wants and needs, and we’re doing it with less guilt. “No” is a complete sentence, and we are getting better at saying it. “No, I don’t want to accept that job for less pay than my male counterparts. No, you may not touch me without my permission. No, I haven’t finished speaking, please don’t interrupt me.”

It isn’t about having new-found freedom to be rude or aggressive, but we are leveraging the fact that our voices are being heard more than before. We’re having the conversations around issues that, for decades, have been cloaked in shame and framed in a way to make us feel ‘less than’ – issues surrounding fertility, miscarriage, divorce, relationships, parenting, education, careers, weight, body type, and aesthetic work, to touch on a few.

We give and provide the space to let our guards down and just not be okay, a common thread throughout Unfiltered. After generations of pressure to be perfect wives and perfect mothers and perfect homemakers and perfect employees, we’ve finally reached the point of saying, “Enough!”

We’re not letting publications, social media, or trolls hiding behind their keyboards shame us into looking or behaving or living a certain way. Yes, society might deem us attractive when we’re a certain size, a certain shape, and with a certain hair texture. But we’ve discovered that we actually look a lot better when we’re happy, and we no longer allow the number on the scale or the weight of others’ expectations to hold their previous power over us.

‘Aging gracefully’ is out. ‘Aging authentically’ is in. We’re no longer accepting criticism about wanting nips and tucks, and we’re openly discussing them to break down the stigma of wanting to look a certain way and to find the best practitioners to do them safely. We’re equally fine with letting nature take its course and not worrying about what means or looks like. The beautiful thing about beauty is that we’re flying in the face of the naysayers and making individual decisions about what it means for us. 

We’re flipping the script on our careers. We’re being brave enough to walk away from jobs that feed us but don’t nurture us to pursue the things that make our hearts sing, whether that means selling every possession to travel around the world or going back to school to tackle an entirely new field, or just… slowing… down for a much-needed time out.

We’re embracing the fact that we can rewrite our scripts at any time.  We are redefining who we are, our goals, and our values as we grow and develop. We do not owe anyone the outdated version of ourselves and if that means rethinking and releasing relationships that have run their course, so be it.

We’re also having important conversations about our mental health, the things that overwhelm and challenge us and how we can manage them. We’re creating the space for the people around us to do the same and not feel ashamed about not coping.

We’re breaking out of stereotypes and building a community of inclusivity, and we’re doing it for ourselves so we can better help each other.