Bad Behaviour Break Down

Dr. Christine Kritzas, Counselling Psychologist at The LightHouse Arabia, answers some questions from kids about bullying

Are there differences in bullying experiences of boys and girls?
Males tend to choose more physically aggressive methods when bullying other males. They indulge in menacing behaviour and typically are more direct when bullying other males, or females for that matter.

Females tend to bully other females indirectly by using verbal assaults, rejecting, spreading rumours, and gossiping.They disguise their bullying and act in more passive-aggressive ways, which makes this type of bullying more difficult to spot.

Are some children more likely to be bullied than others?
Sometimes children can be bullied for belonging to a different race, religion, culture or being an immigrant in a foreign country.

Those who are introverted, submissive or struggling with mental health difficulties or physical disability are more likely to be bullied.

Children can also be bullied based on their physical, intellectual, or social abilities or their appearance.

How do you know if someone is being bullied?
Warning signs that a child is being bullied:
– Significant changes in your child’s behaviour – withdrawn, secretive, quiet
– Aggressive behaviours – hitting, shouting, breaking things, name-calling, acting out against siblings/parents/nanny
– Avoidant behaviour – school refusal, not wanting to take the bus to school, declining party invitations
– Regressive behaviours – bedwetting, thumb-sucking, clinging
– Raised levels of anxiety or experiencing fluctuations in mood that are uncharacteristic of the child’s temperament, age, or stage of development
– Changes in sleep patterns – nightmares, doesn’t want to sleep alone, not feeling rested after sleep
– Major changes in academic performance

Who can children tell when they are being bullied?
– Parents/family members – this is largely dependent on the type of relationship the child has with their parent as well as the parenting style of the caregiver.
– School counsellor/teacher – some children may feel safe confiding in their school counsellor or their teacher. Research has shown that 54% of students who were bullied didn’t report it to an adult at school.
– Close friends – this is also dependent on whether the bully is part of their friendship circle or not.

Why don’t children tell?
Children may not share that they have been bullied for the following reasons:
– Shame and embarrassment, fear of retaliation, desire for acceptance, worry about “snitching” or a lack of awareness that they’re actually being bullied.
– Bullying is often scary and confusing. This fact leaves most kids unsure of how to handle the situation. Many will keep bullying incidents to themselves while they try to figure out what to do. 
– Stereotypes about how boys should handle being bullied (i.e. boys don’t cry) may also play in role in them not sharing when it occurs.

Does bullying cause problems later years?
Being bullied can affect a person later in life, causing significant mental health difficulties, namely anxiety and depression, a higher risk of self-harm and suicidal behaviours, eating disorders and low self-esteem or self-worth.

Where does bullying happen?
– Bullying can take place anywhere from school, where they typically spend majority of their time, to public playgrounds and sports-fields, even in homes of friends and family. 
– Cyberbullying has increased by 70% since the onset of the pandemic and more children are being subjected to bullying whilst playing online games or through their social media usage. 
– Bullying behaviour is not limited to specific places or only on online platforms, and children are at risk to being bullied anytime and anywhere.  

Does bullying cause health problems?
Studies have found that bullying increases the risk of developing anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders and substance misuse. Mental health impacts a person’s physical health too, and hence bullying can lead to physical health problems as well. This could be anything from psychosomatic problems, such as headaches, gastro-intestinal issues and sleeping problems, to self-harm or ‘self-medicating’ through the use of substances. In severe cases, bullying can also lead to attempted suicide or completed suicide.

Is there a link between childhood bullying behaviour and bullying behaviour in later years?
A study has found children who engage in bullying behaviour as children were 10 times more likely to lie and six times more likely to have fights with their peers in adulthood. Bullies are often victims of bullying themselves. Childhood bullies typically experience some sort of mental distress themselves and such mental distress, similarly to bullying, also impacts mental and physical well-being later in life.